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Books: The complete works of Jeffrey Chaucer and Jeffrey Archer,

Movies: Belle and Sebastian, The Wombles, Richard and Judy, Mister Ben, The Onedin Line, Upstairs And Downstairs, The Woodentops, Watch With Mother, The Nine O'Clock News,

Music: Gerry And The Pacemakers, Val Doonican, Rolf Harris, Jason Donovan, Aled Jones, Clive Dunn, The St Winifred's School Choir, T'pau, Slayer, The Bonzo Dog Doodah Band, The Rutles, Peter Paul And Mary, The New Seekers, Dana, The Smurfs, The Smiths

Hobbies: Making life size windmills from match sticks, making bungee jump snuff videos, smiling, pretending I'm a cartoon, eating pommegranate pips, snorkelling in my bathtub and pretending I'm swimming in lime flavour jelly.

Captain Melted is the techno-meister of the near legendary Melted Rubber Humans, an experimental electro outfit who have been setting the world on fire and then dowsing it with hundreds of gallons of Ben and Jerry's ice cream (I mean it would be stupid to set the world on fire, wouldn't it? Unless of course you were God and you were totally fucking pissed off with your creation)